Improving Aesthetics: A Vain Pursuit or a Worthy Cause?
In my previous article, we discussed a pattern that I’ve recognized over the course of 15 years in the industry and working with 1000+ clients:
Almost everyone decides to pursue a fitness journey for 3 main reasons: To Look Better, To be Healthier and to Perform better.
The blend of these three, and the degree to which each individual wants to take them varies greatly. And for each person, their own “proprietary blend” changes over time. We all enter different seasons of life.
Here’s a problem though…many people, both men and women of all ages, are ashamed to admit that they want to look better.
When I first started Lifting
I was 19 years old when I started lifting. I was living in a fraternity house, and we had a weight room on our second floor.
Every single dude who worked out, did so with one reason, and one reason only…
To be freaking jacked.
It was a beautiful thing, there were no bones about it- we were in the gym to:
look better…
to get bigger…
to be seen by more girls…
to be respected by more guys…
Period. End of story.
I took for granted how straight forward this environment was. We knew something at 19 years old:
Looks matter.
First impressions matter.
How we present ourselves to the world matters.
We all understood this viscerally and we were not ashamed to verbalize it.
Looking better…which by our definition was bigger and stronger…would benefit our social status, and there was absolutely no shame in playing the game of human nature.
This Changed Over time
I don’t know when, and I don’t know why, but at some point it became taboo to say “I want to be sexy as hell.” The vast majority of the new client discussions I’ve had over the years usually had statements like:
“I just want to be healthier.”
“I don’t care what I look like, I just want to be more functional.”
“I just want to improve my general fitness level.”
Ok cool, I guess. But let’s set the record straight on a few things:
Being Healthier, more functional, or more generally fit, are not mutually exclusive with looking better. They can absolutely go hand in hand.
If you don’t ask for what you want, you won’t get what you want.
I used to see this all the time- people were super bummed out with the results of their program- the results that they specifically asked for.
They would improve their 5K times and resting heart rate, increase their strength levels, improve their flexibility and mobility- they became more functional and generally more fit!
But because they told us they didn’t care about aesthetics- I was naive enough to believe them and didn’t build anything into the plan to improve their physique.
And so despite getting exactly what they asked for…they were left without the thing that they actually wanted.
If you want something, you have to set your sights directly on it. No one can help you with something you’re too embarrassed to admit that you want.
Or put another way:
Shame has no place in a conversation about goals.
My goal for today is to discuss why working out for aesthetics is not vain…but it’s a natural desire.
When you enlist my help- my goal from the onset is to foster clear and open communication.
I’m not here to judge. I’m not here to tell you what you “should” want.
I’m here to serve and guide.
And as your guide, I’m here to tell you that it is COMPLETELY NORMAL to want to improve your appearance.
It is a natural human desire to be more attractive. Even if you’re married.
Being attractive isn’t always about sexual attraction- oftentimes it’s about creating a presence that makes other people (of both sexes) want to be around you more- which creates more opportunities for connection and relationships in your life.
Appearances matter, whether people want to admit it or not.
We all have a need for connection in this life. And our appearance is what invites others into that connection with us. It tells a story about who we are and what we value.
My favorite analogy is that of a book:
The greatest novel ever written will have no impact on the world if no one ever reads it.
And for that reason- an author goes to great lengths to craft a cover that attracts the right reader and invites them into the story.
This is the power of our appearance.
Now just to be clear- having an awesome cover with shitty contents just means that more people will more quickly find out how empty you are…appearance is just PART of the equation.
So with that heady stuff out of the way, it’s time to get into the practical and logistical…
What Improving Aesthetics Looks Like in Practical Application
Improving our Physique comes down to two adaptations we’re going to push for:
Decreasing body-fat
Increasing muscle mass.
Decreasing Body-fat
This going to be done through our nutritional approach. I’m not going to get into the weeds in this article, but I’ve got resources that can get you up to speed.
Email me paul@lyngsopaul.com with the subject line “Nutrition Starter Course” and I’ll send you my free course on how create a simple plan to start decreasing your body-fat.
Increasing Muscle Mass
Let’s start by saying that we can only impose two demands on our muscles:
To grow bigger- called hypertrophy
To contract more efficiently- called strength
For aesthetic improvement, we’re looking for hypertrophy.
I’m not going to get too in detail about muscle building here- I’ve got a case study I can send you that breaks this down into more detail and has a program you can just use. If you want that…just email me paul@lyngsopaul.com with the subject “muscle building case study” and I’ll send it over to you.
Here’s What You Need To Know
The logistics of looking better are fairly straight forward, as you’ll find if you watch my case studies and mini courses.
The logistics are not what usually holds most people back.
What keeps most people from getting what they want is the sense of shame or embarrassment about their true desires.
Not giving yourself permission to want what you want is always going to lead to misalignment- an internal tug of war between what you think you “should” want and what you actually want.
If unresolved, this misalignment will lead to a lot of wasted energy and frustration.
For more on the topic of Internal Alignment- check out this episode of The Missing Piece Podcast.